Week 4 Run 3

I spent all of last week being totally unmotivated  finding reasons to not run, kids are sick, presents need to be wrapped and so on. I actually even admitted to David that I was unmotivated to get out and run. I avoided reading my blog, which does have some messages just to motivate me because I really did not want to continue.

I ran on Tuesday and got the run done and then I did nothing until Sunday morning. David asked if I was going to get it done today, to which I replied "What" knowing full well what it was that he was talking about, he just said, "you know what I am talking about". So at that time I did answer yes that I was planning on doing it and that I would start to get ready in about a half an hour.

I really did not want to do my run at all today, I had started to think the program sucked because I always had to do what it told me to do. I am not good at being told to do things, this I know about myself, even though I am the first to also admit that this is a wonderful programme, but this week was just tough.

I read some of the blogs that I belong to on Saturday night written by other people who are doing the C25K programme and felt even less motivated going to bed thinking that I was done and was not going to be running in the morning. On Sunday morning I read the new one for the day, I noticed there were a lot that talked about dropping out of the program, or being on the third time trying the program, or just generally have a tough time with motivation, these actually did help me a bit, I started to think that I did not want to be someone who was on my second or even third time trying to complete this programme, I also was pleased to see that I was not the only person who had trouble with motivation. I remembered David telling me that he had read that most people who drop this programme do so at the end of the forth week and I really did not want to be one of them.

 So we went running, and  I did it, I have now finished week 4 of the programme and I feel more motivated to continue now. A couple of things I was able to notice today that shows me how well this actually works that I am getting fitter they were that I was actually able to relax a little more and talk a little to David on the warm up, also that  I was able to say a few words to him while running which one of the sentences I remember was can you at least pretend to be out of breath, to which David did some over the top breathing that made me laugh a little during my run, I also was able to talk in a sentence during the walking part in between the running cycles.I also have worked out that I freak myself out between run cycles without even knowing it, I do this really strange thing where I almost puke, it starts with coughing and ends up with me almost puking, but I did note today that I do not do this during the cool down walk, so I think I am getting myself so worked up that it is causing this, just another thing to try and control. So week 5 will start tomorrow and that puts one step closer to getting through this programme.

David did tell me he was not going to just walk away and let me quit, I am still not sure what he would of done to  make me continue, but that will be something that he may need to pull out at a later date. When he asked me how I would of felt if I quit I was able to tell him it would of been shitty, I would have to live with feeling that I had let so  many people down, this is something that I know David thinks is great and he looks forward to us having a chance to really run together. Really though most of all I know the person who I would of let down the most is myself. I want to have that feeling of achievement when I finish the programme, when I run my very first 5K and having the chance to create a awful lot of wonderful memories of running for myself and running with my husband and today I am not prepared to give that all up because I feel tired or unmotivated not  to say at all that this feeling will not come up again, who knows when it will but I am sure that it will happen, but lucky me I hate letting anyone down and I have a husband who seems to of worked out how to get though my hard skull.